Anarcho Meocracy
Are you unsatisfied with your government? Are you frightened by the national
debt? Disturbed by a peculiar war? Angered by environmental destruction?
Me too, and I’m happy to say that I have a solution.
The best thing about being governed is resisting
that governing force. The worst thing about resistance is that it is messy,
troublesome, and often a full time job. If you travel in certain circles,
there’s a good chance you’ve heard a lot of people talkin’
‘bout a revolution, but I doubt they’ve considered how much
work a revolution would entail. Sometimes revolutions are really easy.
For example, if you want to revolutionize the way you brush your teeth
or eat an ice cream cone. But they can also be way more work than their
worth. For example revolutionizing the three hundred million people behave
and govern themselves.
My solution does not call for a revolution, but it does call for a change
in government. I’m not sure if anyone in the world is familiar with
this new sort of government, but I know a fairly large number of people
who practice it. Instead of being governed by the laws and expectations
of the United States, instead, allow yourself to be governed entirely
by whims.
To become the sole governing body of yourself and simultaneously govern
nothing more than yourself is termed a meocracy. For example, in the United
Meocracy of Hank it is perfectly acceptable to dance half naked to obnoxious
Japanese pop music. However, if the citizens of my meocracy want my girlfriend
to dance half naked to obnoxious Japanese pop music, we have no way of
forcing her to do that. A meocracy only governs one person.
But becoming a meocracy is only half the battle to winning independence
from Government oppression. Being the ruler and sole member of a meocracy
has the direct disadvantage of quickly transforming into an Activist Meocracy.
This occurs when the sovereignty of the meocracy is infirnged upon by
a higher governing force.
As an example, assume there is a meocracy where shopping carts are legal
tender. When, in the course of daily events, a shopping cart is not accepted
in exchange for several beers, the governor of the meocracy will become
disgruntled and fight against the unjust policy of the ruling republic.
This disgruntled sort of Meocracy is termed an Activist Meocracy and is
not truly a Meocracy at all. Because the citizen has realized he is ruled
by others, and fights against that ruling through non-violent means, the
citizen has become an active and empowered member of democracy. And we’ve
seen what democracy gets us.
And so it is necessary to avoid the possibility of becoming the sole member
of an Activist Meocracy. I have avoided this pitfall by becoming an Anarcho
Meocracy. This completes the transfer of the old ways of living under
government rule, to a true Meocracy, where one is entirely ruled by one’s
desires. But most importantly, the desire to stay please.
An Anarcho Meocracy is still ruling and under the rule of one individual,
but it is best to consider that individual to be of many parts. Each individual
part (i.e. the ego, the brain, the chutzpah, the genitals), has unequal
and varying representation within the whole. At any time there may be
thousands of conflicting special interests within an Anarcho Meocracy.
The system that decides which special interest changes at least daily,
and often minute to minute. Thus, you might see the ruler of an Anarcho
Meocracy appearing perfectly at eas walking one direction, but suddenly
turning around and walking another direction and then, moments later,
giving up and sitting down to play with some grass.
While this is certainly not the most efficient way to live one’s
life, it avoids the possibilities of forming strong regulations within
the Meocracy, and thus, the ruler of the Meocracy will pretty much do
whatever is convenient. This includes paying taxes, obeying laws, and
even using real money to buy beer.
For a full year I wrote a weekly column for a daily paper in Boulder CO. I wrote about being young, poor and green, and the column was widely loved throughout the city. It remains one of the most rewarding things I've ever done.
If you've got some time on your hands...check 'em out.
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